Journal—An ongoing dialog between thia/Basilia and Master Yahuwah/Yahushua. …
Thursday, August 3, 2017 at 2:34 am
Father? You have separated me for Your service. You know that I don’t know what am I doing. I refuse to take things in my own hands to make things happen. My heart desire is to wait on You. Even so, the money situation for my keep is under trial every month. Every month is a nightmare! My expenses are higher than my income. The problem?
Instead of lowering my expenses I am back to my dependence in whatever extra comes my way from my children. That is not what it ought to be as per Your instructions.
You have changed my attitude towards all things including money. You are leading me all the way. I have no doubt about Your leading. I know You are showing me the solution to this money problem as well as the problem with my health, but! Ahmad is not in agreement with the solution You are showing to me. What to do? I will follow Your lead with confidence and trust in You. Starting today, I will set apart 10% of my income as per Your instructions in, Malachi 3:1-18.
Thursday, August 3, 2017 8:34 am
Father? Let the tears flow from my lachrymal glands. You need to wash my soul. The evil doings of our carnal natures are enough not just to cry but to weep about. Ah! But we are so clever to device all kinds of props to hide our evilness. What? How dare I bring this matter to light amid the colossal tide of seemingly peace, unconditional love, love of oneself, finding the true self, considering the self to be the epitome of goodness?
Father? I intend to fast and let You cleanse not only my body but mainly my soul. I need You. But You know it, my Father. There is no way in this world to get rid of our mistaken tone of distrust and despair. There is no way in this world for us to separate the PRECIOUS from the VILE. Unless You do the cleansing of my OWN heart from unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning Your faithfulness, I labor in vain.
My wantings and demands for one thing or the other has caused much harm in the relationship not only with Ahmad but also with my own children. What is the use get emotionally sorry about it? But! Instead of emotional outbursts, letting You cleanse my body and soul is what You require. How can I let You do the cleansing, my Father? Your words in Isaiah 1:2-20 come to mind,
…. Why should you be stricken and punished any more since it brings no correction? You will revolt more and more. The whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint (feeble, sick, and nauseated). From the sole of the foot even to the head there is no soundness or health in the nation’s body—but wounds and bruises and fresh and bleeding stripes; they have not been pressed out and closed up or bound up or softened with oil. No one has troubled to seek a remedy.
O my Father! I hear You speaking to me personally. Not to the nation, not to Ahmad or any human being amidst, but! To me. I am the guilty one. I keep regressing to my carnal ways despite all the work You have done within my being, but! You know it. So, why do You let me regress?
“Do you really regress, My child? If it was so, would you bypass those words and apply them to somebody else other than yourself? Pause. Reflect. O thiaBasilia—O child of My heart? Continue with your reading.
Because of your detestable disobedience your country lies desolate, your cities are burned with fire; your land—strangers devour it in your very presence, and it is desolate, as overthrown by aliens. And the Daughter of Tsiyon—Yerushalayim is left like a deserted booth in a vineyard, like a lodge in a garden of cucumbers, like a besieged city spared, but in the midst of desolation. Except Yahuweh your Almighty Creator of hosts had left us a very small remnant of survivors, we should have been like Sodom, and we should have been like Gomorrah.
O thiaBasilia—O child of My heart? Take what you are reading as a confirmation of where you are coming from. Understand the reason for your weeping. Go on.
Hear O Yerushalayim the word of Yahuweh your Almighty Creator, you rulers or judges of another Sodom! Give ear to the law and the teaching of our Maker, you people of another Gomorrah! To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me unless they are the offering of the heart? says Yahuweh your Almighty Creator. I have had enough of the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fed beasts without obedience; and I do not delight in the blood of bulls or of lambs or of he-goats without righteousness.
Indeed! My child that was your state and condition in so many years past. I plucked you out of that state and condition, but! There are many yet to be rescued.
When you come to appear before Me, who requires of you that your unrighteous feet trample My courts? Bring no more offerings of vanity (emptiness, falsity, vainglory, and futility); your hollow offering of incense is an abomination to Me; the New Moons and Sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot endure—it is iniquity and profanation, even the solemn meeting. Your New Moon festivals and your hypocritical appointed feasts My soul hates. They are an oppressive burden to Me; I am weary of bearing them.
Pause. Reflect. O thiaBasilia—O child of My heart? This is exactly the way I see My children. I see their heart. I have brought you into the Oneness with Me. I now let you see and grieve for the ones yet in that state and condition. This is what you are going through. This is what you are sensing.
And when you spread forth your hands in prayer, imploring help, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood! Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes! Cease to do evil, learn to do right! Seek justice, relieve the oppressed, and correct the oppressor. Defend the fatherless, plead for the widow.
O thiaBasilia—O child of My heart? My children interpret My words with their carnal mind, therefore, they do not consider the impossibility of cleansing or washing themselves by their good works. They do not come to Me to do the cleansing or washing.
Come now, and let us reason together, says Yahuweh your Almighty Creator. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; But if you refuse and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword. For the mouth of Yahuweh your Almighty Creator has spoken it.
From those words I get Your answer, I hear your call to me personally, “O thiaBasilia—O child of My heart? Come now, and let us reason together. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; But if you refuse and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.”
Here I am my Father, take the coal, touch my lips, cleanse my being. I am willing to accept my guilt. I am willing to give up my tone of unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning Your faithfulness. Do unto me as it is pleasing in Your sight.
You are calling me to come now and let us reason together. Here I am, my Father, empty handed. Leaving all material concerns for a time, naked I stand in Your Presence. First thing? My guilt concerning material things including food. Second? My attitude towards money. Pointing my finger at Ahmad for the lack of it, but! I am the guilty one because that’s what You declare to me in Malachi 3:1-18 AMPC+:
BEHOLD, I send My messenger, and he shall prepare the way before Me. And the Master, the Messiah, Whom you seek, will suddenly come to His temple; the Messenger or Angel of the covenant, Whom you desire, behold, He shall come, says the Master of hosts.
Wow! O dear reader, I never saw this before. I read that verse a gillion times always thinking on the second coming of our Redeemer, but! Yahushua is already here, right within my/our hearts. No kidding. Look at the next verse.
But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap; He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and He will purify the priests, the sons of Levi, and refine them like gold and silver, that they may offer to the Master offerings in righteousness.
Indeed! Who can endure the day of His coming in our hearts? We got it all wrong. We get carried away by euphoric feelings and intellectual assumptions about His day in our hearts. His Presence in our hearts is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap; He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and He will purify the priests, the sons of Levi, and refine them like gold and silver, that they may offer to the Master offerings in righteousness. O mine! O mine! What is a priest? A priest is a mouthpiece for our Creator. That’s what He made me to be. Ha! That’s the meaning of all this time I am going through. Talking about REFINING? Ouch! The judgement is not a pleasant thing for sure. Read on.
Then will the offering of Judah and Jerusalem be pleasing to the Master as in the days of old and as in ancient years.
Then I will draw near to you for judgment; I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against the false swearers, and against those who oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, and who turn aside the temporary resident from his right and fear not Me, says the Master of hosts. For I am the Master, I do not change; that is why you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed.
Even from the days of your fathers you have turned aside from My ordinances and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you, says the Master of hosts. But you say, How shall we return?
Will a man rob or defraud God? Yet you rob and defraud Me. But you say, In what way do we rob or defraud You? [You have withheld your] tithes and offerings.
You are cursed with the curse, for you are robbing Me, even this whole nation.
Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Master of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
Living above my means I have turned aside from Your ordinances and have not kept them. I been robing You. Why? Because, I have been counting on my wantings rather than Your faithfulness, but! You are bringing me back. Today, I am proving You as You require me to do. I am starting on a fast so I can put aside 10% of my income.
And I will rebuke the devourer [insects and plagues] for your sakes and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground, neither shall your vine drop its fruit before the time in the field, says the Master of hosts.
And all nations shall call you happy and blessed, for you shall be a land of delight, says the Master of hosts.
Your words have been strong and hard against Me, says the Master. Yet you say, What have we spoken against You?
You have said, It is useless to serve God, and what profit is it if we keep His ordinances and walk gloomily and as if in mourning apparel before the Master of hosts?
Hum! I live a blessed life, but! I take for granted when the money runs out. What do I then do? Resent the ones that have money but do not give me any of it. Isn’t that something. Of course, I do not express such thoughts. That would not make me look ‘good’ in the sight of man.
And now we consider the proud and arrogant to be happy and favored; evildoers are exalted and prosper; yes, and when they test God, they escape [unpunished].
Ah! But that sneaky thought—‘you gone get it!
Then those who feared the Master talked often one to another; and the Master listened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him of those who reverenced and worshipfully feared the Master and who thought on His name.
And they shall be Mine, says the Master of hosts, in that day when I publicly recognize and openly declare them to be My jewels (My special possession, My peculiar treasure). And I will spare them, as a man spares his own son who serves him.
Then shall you return and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him who serves God and him who does not serve Him.
Well, those 3 verses are really what I live by. I don’t cater to my wicked self. That wicked self is there for sure, but! I owe nothing to it.
The beauty in this development? I did not plan it. I did not set up to correct my doings. I did not set up to discipline myself. It’s happening. It’s really, really happening! What? What’s happening?
The worry free higher life. The fearless life. The life of a carefree child. The higher life in the Presence of my Father/Creator. Enjoying myself underneath His everlasting arms, I rest in peace, securely guarded by His power of love and wisdom from on high. It never fails. It always avails! O what a life!
Thursday, August 3, 2017 at 6:06 pm
Now? Does my life in the Presence of my Father is a trouble-free life? NAY! If anything, the troubles increase, but! No need to worry about such troubles. Father solves them all. No need for me to embark in any system to live my life.
O my Father, the things that we humans do. I just read how Your people applies Your written words to themselves. Not only that but! Teach others to do the same. Furthermore, I have close friends who stick to such practice, and! Are totally convinced it’s the thing that You require. I was there most of my life, so, I know the drill.
When I read those articles so rampart all over the Internet, sadness invades my soul. It’s like reading dead words. And I pause and reflect. So many ‘good’ people. In fact, it seems like the ‘good’ people surpasses the ‘bad’ ones, but! Father shall set us free even from our own ‘goodness’.
Hope you enjoyed reading the Scriptures the Spirit have clarified for me. Hope. Hope is the evidence of things not yet seeing.
Anyhow that’s what I do when I am in distress. Does it make sense to you dear reader?
His love in my heart for all, thiaBasilia.